Esas Piernas

The other day I was working, and I was wearing one of those outfits where you know you look damn good.  It's a black dress, with a flower pattern that accentuates all my best features. So there I am walking around like my shit don't stink, and I catch a conversation about my legs. It was two "men" and I use that term lightly for them. They said in Spanish essentially that my legs resemble fat tree trunks. Out of all of the things in the world to talk to about, these guys decided to talk about my legs in my awesome dress. Not just about my legs, but that they resemble fat tree trunks. Which really what makes a tree trunk fat? Is there like a BMI chart for trees to decide which ones are skinny and which ones are fat?

I could have said something. I could have stopped and told them off, I could have done anything except for what I did which was walk away. I walked away while two grown men, one old enough to be my father, discussed my legs. My legs. These legs that have done me pretty well for the last 28 years.

These legs waitressed 50 hours plus while 9 months pregnant to provide for my unborn baby, because I had no one else.
These legs went to school after working a full day to make something of myself.
These legs attracted the most amazing man in the world, and even helped convince him to marry me.
These legs give my baby girl someplace to lay her head when she wants to cuddle.
These legs have worked countless hours to provide for my family.
These legs held me up for 3 straight weeks, with no food or rest while I watched him die.
These legs got me out of bed even when I didn't want to after he was gone.
These legs run 6-10 miles a week on the treadmill to keep me healthy.
These legs keep me going when I want to give up.
These legs don't give a shit what you have to say about me or my body.
These legs will wear whatever the fuck I want. Short shorts, bathing suits, dresses.

So to the the two douchebags who made me feel like shit about myself (and my legs) for about 5 hours....
You my friends would be fucking lucky to be anywhere near my FAT tree trunk legs. Quite frankly, it's obvious that you have very little mental capacity to talk about anything worth a damn.  So check your damn self, and stay away from me and my INCREDIBLE, IMPRESSIVE, WONDERFUL fat tree trunk legs.

*mic drop